if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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