Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
