guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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