Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
