you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
you never un-have a 4some
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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