I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
