capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
