Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize