Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
