i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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