If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
