He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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