direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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