Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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