So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize