I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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