You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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