im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
