I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
