dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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