I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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