I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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