I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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