and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
