Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
