remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize