I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
