I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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