Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
