got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
