I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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