I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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