you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
