I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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