I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
