I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
