Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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