I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
