I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
whose parrot is this?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
