I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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