honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
