Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
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