I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
