You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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