I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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