I just threw up on my dentist
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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