you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
