i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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