I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
