I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
