Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Randomize
