i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
