haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
