D3 body, D1 cock
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Drunk is a universal language darling
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
