"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
