If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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