i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
