you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
