I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't turn off my feet"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
