I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
