You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
