woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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