My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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