Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
